so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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