Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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