im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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