I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize