i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize