Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize