Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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