Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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