I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need to sanitize my soul.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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