Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize