Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize