How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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