these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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