How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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