I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize