Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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