I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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