Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
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Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
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Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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