Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize