I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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