Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
is it fun? or sober?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize