girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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