I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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