Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize