I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
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