I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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