are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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