I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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