I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm sobbing to NWA
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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