I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
