If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
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