I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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