You just made me feel so damn special
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize