the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize