There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize