I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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