i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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