i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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