I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize