that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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