Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize