And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
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Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
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My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
the raccoons are back...
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