When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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