Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
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You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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