we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
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I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
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Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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