farters have to be the big spoon...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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