I'm so fucking centered right now
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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