he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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