Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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