why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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