Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize